sheTIME Networks

Hello all, including those ladies who didn’t make it to the meeting – we miss you and hope that you’ll make it some time.

At the last meeting, we became aware that as we get to know each other it’s becoming easier to diverge into delicious conversations about almost anything. We decided to ask someone to “hold the space” for each meeting, to help us focus on our central theme (the monthly cycle and its impact on our lives), so that it doesn’t become just another ladies’ chatter group. Xxx was to have done it yesterday, but she received an offer she couldn’t refuse (to be wined and dined and otherwise spoilt in France for five days) and asked me to step in, which I was glad to do.

The poem I used to open the meeting was “Taboo” by Jennifer Boire. I found it at the Museum of Menstruation (it’s the third poem on this page, so you have to scroll down to see it). I felt that it captures our mission in these meetings: to express, explore and “re-vision” our thoughts and feelings about the feminine cycle in order to discover and consciously use its positive power.

We largely followed the pattern that seems to have worked well for us so far. After greetings and refreshment foraging, we each placed on the table a “sacred object”. This is simply something (a jewel, a stone, a flower…) that has significance for each one and represents the care they’re giving themselves by attending this meeting. We didn’t talk about the objects this time, but their presence reminded us of the preciousness of our encounter. Each person then described their experiences in light of the theme they had determined in the previous meeting to hold in mind for the month. Despite our stated intentions, it’s easy to fall into the patterns of generalisation and avoidance we’ve been trained into, especially around “taboo” topics, so we remind each other to use “I” statements to keep the discussion real and express our true feelings. The group then honours that sharing by listening deeply and offering comfort, advice or simply the affirmation of recognition and shared experience. In the speaking, the listening and the cross-currents of conversation that arise from these, we learn on many levels.

It’s the nature of the meeting that our sharing can be quite personal, so details are reserved for those who attend! In broad terms, though, these are the themes which emerged:

• Xxx spoke of the challenge of staying in her rediscovered feminine energy as she considers a wonderful job prospect but which she fears might flip her back into a more masculine style of striving. For the coming month she chose to focus on “honouring” the person she really is.
• Xxx described some difficult experiences of loss and risk she’s had recently, including a scary dental operation that involved a lot of bleeding, confronting this normally very capable woman with her vulnerability. Xxx pointed out that in some ways this very vulnerability seems to have protected her and Xxx chose to focus on understanding “vulnerability” in the coming month.
• Xxx had wanted to experience silence in the previous month, but found to her surprise that in the silence a panther lurked! She was startled to realise that she actually rather liked this menacing energy and decided to focus in the next month on “Catwoman”!
• Xxx was looking radiant. She had had a good month, succeeded in implementing some difficult changes in her lifestyle and felt very much better for taking good care of herself. She will continue to focus on “transformation”.
• Xxx spoke of conflicting feelings about her body having a very reliable monthly cycle, seemingly no matter what she’s done to it, and yet not (up to this point) having had the opportunity to express its apparent fertility by having children. She decided to focus on “positivity”.
• Xxx was surprised to realise how, despite all the technical information available to her about the menstrual cycle, she still hadn’t made the connection between various points in the cycle and her own experience. She found it amazing that most of the women seem to know so clearly when they’re ovulating, for instance. This might well be a manifestation of denial, and she decided to focus in the coming month on “re-visioning” the cycle in order to engage with it positively.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book Women Who Run with the Wolves came up a lot in the meeting. This is a highly recommended “dipping-into” book of myths, legends and fairy tales which reveal the power of the female psyche, using images as a language to challenge the predominantly masculine discourse of the cultures in which they arose. Also recommended is the Halle Berry version of Catwoman – not as high art, but for its overt exploration of the female psyche and the images it offers to feed your imagination.

I went to bed with Catwoman on my mind and woke up early this morning inspired to complete at last a years-old poem that has always struggled to reach respectability, about the panther inside the cat. Now, I like it. See “panther in my living room”, now up on my blog at http://tiatalk.wordpress.com. Please do leave a Comment (click on “Comments” below the poem), whether you like it or hate it! Strokes or slaps both make me purr!

And… that’s all for now. Next meeting on 31st March, same time, same place.

Love,
Tia